Saturday, April 29, 2006

Maybe it was the 24hours of not sleeping. Perhaps its just curiosity that not only killed the cat, but bashed it over the head till twas' a stain on the ground. Yesterday night's excursion to Ministry of Sound was downright frightening, not to mention distasteful. After a safe trip to a pub at Chjimes at 10 after driving and a Kuishinbo-torturing regime, we thought we should have bar-hopped to see more people during Singapore's nightlife. Once again, curiosity maimed our logic when we suggested visiting the over-hyped Ministry of Sound, famed for its many dungeons of different music. After all, a Ministry should be all-discerning in music, right? We bravely stepped up to Liang Court in search of a quiet, capacious and yet relatively populated bar dungeon.

Believe you me, that should be my very first, and most definitely my very last visit to a club. The apocalyptic scene that greeted our eyes as we shuffled our way into the first room nearly caused QZ and I to flee in panic. We never expected such a..meatshack. It was a hellhole of bodies gyrating and pressing against each other, without discrimination of gender, age, race, or whether you're a passerby or a pervert up for quick grabs. It was like a nightmare scene out of a Triple-X movie, with chaotic dancing and flashing lights all around you. You could literally lose yourself in the crowd;there wasn't anything you could do to preserve your identity there, you just conform to the general press of bodies around you. The booming music doesn't help either; its worse than going to the rifle-range with machine-guns blasting at either side of you without any earplugs. I swear my ears were numb at the end of the night, and I assure you, they still are.

As Tham and Kenny went off to grab drinks, we tried to escape the human disaster by hiding in one corner, only to be shunted away by others who "clearly" reserved the seats. As if those were seats anyway. The room was a claustrophobic's nightmare, with no windows and black looming walls all around you. I wasn't very impressed by the people there either: How happy could one get by just rhythmically shaking your groin? I clearly don't understand. Along the way we caught several, no, numerous pairs of people making out on the chairs, tables, walls, even the ground. Is this the new low for teen-life? I see giant masses of girls and boys engaged in vertical sex in each and every corner, and trust me, its seriously not pretty. I needed a break from the druggie's den, so I signalled time-out ( You can't hear each other in that room) to my buddies, and with a grooving Tham leading the pack, we adjourned to the next room, in hopes of finding a quiet spot to enjoy our drinks, without having it spilled all over the floor.

The next room was less occupied, but was even worse in quality. Trance-inducing lights just kept flashing and flashing, causing everybody to seem to be moving intermittantly, erratically. I see tantric rituals held on the dance-floor, with predators teasing and casually changing prey at whim. Worst of all: the prey enjoy being hunted. I see ecstacy on the faces of these wild dancing ladies as men just brush around them everywhere.

Is it me who's overconservative? I couldn't enjoy myself back there; I was withholding myself with a detached perspective of the entire scene and all I could do was to shake my head, not with ecstacy, but with despair and sad revelation. I really cannot discern why people enjoy going out to clubs, even so on why and how people actually pick up partners at these places. I salute my friends who can actually maintain relationships that originated from these avenues of decadence, but sadly, I'm one of the few and dwindling humans who cannot understand and qualify the intangible aspects of club-dancing and ritual mating. I just hope nobody I know will visit these places, and neither will I encourage any loving couple who's at lack of a place to visit at night to go there, unless they're looking for a sleazy spot where they can make out. Even then, I still discourage the notion; your girlfriend would probably be heavily molested without your knowledge, and the worst thing: You can't do anything about it.

Which brings me to the topic of the entire club-package last night. We finished off the night by pushing our way through the throngs of people to find the several different rooms in the much-hyped Ministry. There was the trance-room, the groove-room, and a retro-room upstairs. I don't think we managed to unlock any other rooms in our exploration before I got dizzy from the lack of sleep and the epilepsy-inducing green lights all around. As we went back to the groove-room to exit the venue, we were treated to the traditional bar-fight, with a lao3wai4 throwing a punch at some other figure right before our very eyes. We were treated to a scene of chaos and bouncers flying across the room with whistles, and with heightened panic surrounding us as we pushed ourselves away from the brawling parties, in fear of inviting a stray punch or elbow. Luckily, nobody else joined in the fight, but many others pushed against us in the similar curiosity that brought us to the Ministry in the first place. Clearly stricken and appalled by this ordeal, we finally made our way into the peace of the night.

I swear, I'm never, ever stepping into such a place in my life.

a new horizon 11:42 am

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

11 days more..

the tock is clicking.

i'm not studying.

screw elderscrolls oblivion.

my gramma skills excede my spelling.

how to get respectable score?!

a new horizon 9:35 pm

Monday, April 17, 2006

Haa..its just so funny that I wrote the previous post about change and now I'm writing about the exact same topic in my SAT test..

a new horizon 7:26 pm

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Just a fleeting thought as I wander around my room..

My room's 3 and 1/4yrs old. It was the whitewashed, barren, tileless compartment the first day I stepped into it. My first impression of the room wasn't very impressing; my large capacious room was to be downgraded into this dustbowl, and it looked even smaller than my storeroom in the old flat. Nonetheless, as time went by, as I journeyed through the treacherous academic arena and the wretched army realm, this very room changed to accommodate and hold many effects of my life. Bit by bit, my room evolved, shedding the skins of old, and adopting new outlooks.

People effected this change. From the newly renovated room, I suddenly had photos on the shelves. Photos of my class, so close back then, scattered and asunder now, both classes from Chinese High and Hwa Chong. The musical instrument lying in the corner of the room, lined with dust and grime, untouched and forgotten after two years of adoring care and practice. My room's changed, so has the people around me, and ambivalently, so did I.

Pictures of my dearest buddies suddenly appear beside my bed, pictures of us having fun on the cruise. Did they not take the place of another picture-frame 1 year ago? A black but star-sprinkled frame of a collage of two people? I cannot remember. Nonetheless, a burgeoning memory speaks of a cushion that used to rest on my armchair, but I cannot discern its whereabouts in this room of mine.

What about photographs? I once had albums of my class, of my then-close buddies as we lazed around in different scenery. I still have them, but they've been shelved into a deeper part of the room, one which I've hardly sought out nowadays. But even if I had, who will these people be? I cannot remember the times we had fun or chatted happily; they are all part of yellowed photographs now.

Will my closest buddies start to become part of a photograph as we grow older? The factors will start to matter: girls, money, studies, distance. Is it worth the effort? What seemed ephemeral then only turned out to be as transient as the next fad..will we become as transient to each other as these people in my past life? Will the people I meet later on in life take their places?

"No matter where you'll be, we'll still be together, still connected in our hearts" Musings of a game, something so adjunct to life that its not even worth a mention? It just seems so ideal that people will remember their friends no matter where they are, even if they don't speak to each other, forget see each other for ages. What if you still remember, but they don't? Is it all worth it? What's friendship marked, etched and engraved so deeply in tangibles when its taken lightly in the heart? Will the friends I know today be ancillary figures later on in life?

No matter, even if our time is short, let us just enjoy the remnants of time together before we part.

a new horizon 9:14 pm

After 40 odd hours of devoted gaming, without heed to breakfast or dinner, I finally completed Kingdom Hearts 2. Oh well..feeling a bit of a loss as to what to do now, since I've lost a small little goal in my little life. I didn't manage to kill Sephiroth, and neither did I complete the Hades Cups, but the storyline was extremely satisfactory, to me at the very least. Somehow I couldn't stop thinking, as I went through cutscene by cutscene, how easily one can be lulled into a sense of bliss and romanticism through the stories of childhood tales. How easily one can feel warm and fuzzy inside when Sora and Kairi finally embrace, how easily one can burst into laughter at Mickey's highly contrasting antics, with him smiting unholy anger into enemies while maintaining an adorably cute disposition about him.

I'm very amazed by how the developers made this game out to be such a great success. Amazing, the way they made the characters age and yet maintain their likeability..I guess I was ventilating like a groupie when I saw the adolescent Riku in my party, and probably was jumping with excitement when Auron made his nascent appearance. Not to mention how I swooned when I saw Yuna, Rikku and Paine appear in sprite-form, or how my sister forever bugs me to call her to the room whenever King Mickey makes an appearance prodding proverbial buttocks. Sigh..Namine and Kairi do look so lovely too..:p

It's going to be tough living life without the anticipation of yet another wonderful sequel to grace my aging PS2, but nonetheless, the fact that I've played one of the greatest games to be made on the console nestles snugly in my heart. I'm one happy guy this year. :)

when i get the time after SATs, I'm gonna get Sephiroth's hide. Nevermind his 15 bars of health and his bloody one-slash-kill masamune.

a new horizon 6:26 pm

Monday, April 10, 2006

:: Warning - Kingdom Hearts 2 Lingo ::



I'm looking for my Naminé.

The one girl who has the power to change memories. To unlink memories. The one made with innate ability to modify your past, and the amorphous future.


After all, memories are only pictures, films of recorded scenery floating in your head. They have no impact on their own; only when chained to form a story, will you become yourself. Memories to form you, otherwise you would be no better than a Nobody.

I want to find my Naminé.

She can sketch the memories out on her notebook, reorganize and magically unbind them into harmless pictures of scenery, each to float into the darkness of one's heart. They would forever be present in your life, but would be rendered virtually unmemorable memories. She can change your world, she can make you forget people and remember others; she can erase places, and install several. She works her mysterious ways, for she was made to work with your heart. Naminé, somewhere out there in the distant worlds, awaiting with a pen and a sketchbook to change your very life..

Naminé..perhaps I'll find you soon..

:: End Lingo ::

I guess its hard not to get into a reflective and emotive mood while playing such a deep game..

a new horizon 8:26 pm

Sunday, April 09, 2006

I was trying not to post another useless message, but I just can't get it off my mind. How could I retardedly do such an asinine thing..to think that my mistake not only caused my clean slate to be severely tainted, it has also implicated two of my dear buddies..

How very sorry I am...if only I can bear all the blame for you two..

i'm just feeling so screwed up. so very very screwed up.

a new horizon 12:13 am

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Dear Yuwei,

How are you these days? Its' been really long ever since I heard from you..but nonetheless, its great to know that you're having the time of your life in university! Hahaa..and I'm really glad to see you so happy in all your photos, especially when you're grinning from ear to ear with your boyfriend! So how's uni life? I hope its not as taxing as it sounds..all the CCAs should be much more interesting than the generic "Guitar Club" or "Badminton Club"!

Anyways, I do hope your life's been a turn for the better ever since we separated. Its' been quite a learning experience, don't you think? A bit of an ugly turn on the last lap, I'm afraid, but there's much to learn, as I've found out quite painfully! Hahaa..no worries, I'm perfectly human now, so don't fret about me waiting at your door with a knife, or a present, whichever seems worse to you! Yup, I guess time just did the thing for me, and hopefully it can for you, to cover up all the etches of our time together.

Currently, I'm still working as an MP..wearing the black brassard this time though! Not the white wimpy trainee brassard you always saw me off in..I'm one qualified MP, albeit useless employed as a security guard in MINDEF. Life's taken a turn for the slack path though..I'm getting really fat these days! The old backache's returning once again, and I'm now excused/forbidden from exercise for 2months! Yikes..there goes the target of 65kg..back to the likes of pre-JC! Hahaa..I'm having quite alot of free time here though, since I do alot of 24hour duties in my NSF life now. I'm learning Japanese, studying for my SATs, and finishing up my driving all at the same time now, so at least it gives me a goal in life for the time being! There's quite alot of targets for me to achieve these two months, what with the tests for SAT and driving coming right up. Unfortunately, I've been rejected for all my scholarship applications *again!*, so I presume the SAT would be a defining factor in my attempt to fly off to the States for university!

Hahaa..probably you didn't hear much about my about-turn in choices of university..after all, we haven't been speaking for so long! I've applied to MIT*probably a joke, but still, its worth a try..*, University of California - Berkeley, Northwestern, and Umich, the residence of our CTrep! I'm studying MSE too..so probably I'll be fighting with Tianhan for a ricebowl over there, I hope. Generally, life's been so far, okay in the army, at least I didn't get targeted for any major offences while working. There's quite a number of eye candy walking around here, so my time's pretty much taken up as well!

Anyways, its been almost a year, I can't really put my finger on the date. Nonetheless, it's almost a year since you've found your happiness! Hahaa..I would love to meet up someday, but with my erratic schedule of shift-system, it could be quite a hassle to arrange, don't you think? Perhaps someday I'll catch you while roaming around Orchard, promise not to avoid me then, ya? I'll treat both of you if you're lucky! Until then..keep in touch! :)

Yours sincerely,
Eddie.

a new horizon 10:35 pm